The Loss of a Great Grandfather (A Short Story)

Those damn bagpipes haunt my dreams, every single night. While the horned version is heard throughout the town every afternoon at seventeen hundred hours. That tune signals the end of the day and that the fallen have returned home. It has to be the saddest song in the world, in the history of music.

A the song blasts through my hearing, I can see him. Thin and frail, his tattered uniform resting, folded neatly on his chest, my family had opted to put him in a white t shirt and overalls for the great-grandchildren to recognize him. The funeral home tried their best to put a soft smile on his face, but it did not turn out quite right. His full head of white hair was combed perfectly to represent the gentleman he was, even if it was against Army regulation length.

I haven’t felt much of anything since the day my dad received the phone call from the hospital telling us that my great-grandpa had past away. I remember having to ask two or three times for him to repeat the message, because I couldn’t believe it. I had just seen him two days before and he was fine. Well maybe not that fine, he did say something about great-grandma being there next to me and the best friend he lost in the war was looking out the window saying something about “the U-boat’s about ready Jackson.” He was having one of his bad days, but not so bad that he didn’t recognize me. I was grateful for that moment.

At the funeral I did okay up to the point of the graveside service. Beautiful summer day, what would have been his 88th birthday, and the nameless preacher prattled his “ashes to ashes” speech that I didn’t listen to…or don’t remember listening to. My eyes were glued to the dark brown casket draped in the red, white and blue flag. I couldn’t get my mind to move past the thought that this man had survived D-day at Gold Beach, shrapnel from enemy fire and the loss of his childhood sweetheart, to be brought down by the flu.

Again all was fine until they played that blasted song and three men, just three men, pulled their trigger seven times. Even though they aimed for the open sky, each shot was a fresh wound in my heart. My body trembled with every bang, until I couldn’t take anymore and had to walk away. They presented my great-uncle, the jerk of the family who hadn’t seen him in the five years before his death, with his flag. And just like that, my great-grandpa’s life was officially over. The family scattered like roaches in the light of a fridge before he was even lowered into the ground.

Now no one ever talks about him. What he did for his country or family. If it wasn’t for pictures and fading memories, no one would know he even existed.

20 years later and I’m at my husband’s funeral. Staring at an almost exact casket and mentally preparing for the seven gunmen. I learned my lesson the first time around, always get seven. Our big military family surrounds me on all sides as the preacher gives the almost identical speech I don’t remember from back then. The only difference I see is great-grandpa was surrounded by Army uniforms, now I am in a sea of Marine blues.


#ASI: Ellie Midwood

Ellie Midwood is a New York based author who loves writing about her city and its people. She’s a health obsessed yoga enthusiast, a neat freak, an adventurer, Nazi Germany history expert, polyglot, philosopher, a proud Jew and a doggie mama.
Ellie lives in Brooklyn with her fiancé and their Chihuahua named Shark Bait.

Discuss your newest book.

My newest book is called “The Austrian” and it tells a story of the highest SS leader, tried by the International Military Tribunal in Nuremberg, Ernst Kaltenbrunner. It’s not your average WWII story, it’s extremely angsty and emotional due to the psychological state of the protagonist, incarcerated in Nuremberg, who already knows what awaits him. However, even though many perceive him to be a cold blooded murderer, the story that unravels in front of the readers’ eyes shows a very different side of him. I love writing about deeply troubled, conflicted characters, and Ernst was just a perfect protagonist in this sense. Sounds very interesting! I love reading books revolving around WWII.


Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

I’ve always been writing, as long as I can remember. I guess my love for reading and writing came from my mother – she is a librarian and used to write poems herself. It is a creative gene, I guess.

What are your current projects?

I’m currently working on book two in “The Austrian” series. Ernst’s story is a very lengthy one, and I didn’t want to put everything into a 700-page book, so I had to separate it into three parts, like I did with my previous series, “The Girl from Berlin.” If book one explored the theme of how one gets involved with something as vile as the Nazi Party and his reasons for it, the second one shows a more doubtful protagonist, who starts opening his eyes to all the bloodshed and atrocities he involuntarily gets involved with. And it’s also in the second part, where he falls in love with a Jewish girl, Annalise, the protagonist of “The Girl from Berlin” series. So there’s definitely going to be a lot of romance inter-weaved with the spy intrigues and politics.

What books have most influenced your life most?

Not my life, but my writing. This would definitely be my all-time favorite “The Kommandant’s Mistress” by Alexandria Constantinova Szeman, the one that inspired me to write “The Girl from Berlin” series. It’s a story of a Jewish girl who is forced to serve as a sex slave to the commandant of one of the concentration camps in occupied Poland. It’s a brilliant work from the psychological point of view, showing the twisted relationship of the victim, and the one who’s in power. It’s written in a stream of consciousness technique, which also adds much more depth to the emotional state of both characters. I keep re-reading it from time to time, and it still amazes me how sharply and unapologetically it’s written. Wow.

Give us an insight into your main character. What does he/she do that is so special?

He’s a deeply conflicted character, not the normal protagonist that the reader is supposed to like. He tells his story without holding anything back, horrified with his own actions and trying to understand how he came to be this monster when he had only the noble goals in the beginning. He is an SS leader, who was fighting with Hitler himself against the extermination program. He was trying to drown his conscience in a bottle of whiskey and was constantly torn apart by his desire to protect the soldiers under his command, and at the same time hated his own leaders, who made him become what he hated to be – one of the main executioners of the German Reich. This constant psychological inner struggle makes him extremely interesting.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Absolutely. The main theme of book one explores the subject of how easy it is to follow the wrong leaders and fall under the wrong influence. Ernst’s country, Austria, was devastated after WWI; the impossible retributions, imposed by the Versailles Treaty, brought many people towards starvation. That’s when the Nazi Party got a hold of both nations, and, playing on people’s fears and anger, took over power so easily. You can easily draw a parallel with what’s going on in the United States right now.
When did you decide to become a writer?
I guess I have to thank my fiancé for it, who believed in me so much that let me quit my job and become a full-time writer. We’re both actually very happy that I did. There’s nothing more fulfilling than to do a job that you love, and to me writing doesn’t even feel like a job. The promoting does, but not writing itself. It’s a pleasure. It’s sweet to have someone who believes in you so much. Mazel Tov on the upcoming wedding.

Do you write full-time or part-time?
Full-time, almost every single day, for twelve or fourteen hours sometimes, and if I don’t write, I read for inspiration. Some people don’t realize what a time-consuming process writing is. It indeed is a full-time job, but thankfully it pays off as well, not only in the monetary sense, but in the emotional as well. My happiest moments are when I see a new review for one of my books, or when a reader contacts me on social media and says how much they loved my book. It’s extremely rewarding.

What was the hardest thing about writing your latest book?
Writing it from the first person point of view, when my main character is a man, and a Nazi high ranking official on top of it. (I’m a girl, and I’m a Jewish girl, so making him sound realistic for the readers was a real challenge.) Judging by the positive response, Ernst came out very realistic, so I can sigh with relief and go back to writing book 2. I can see how that would be challenging.

What book are you reading now?

“Labyrinth” by Walther Schellenberg. He was the chief of the foreign intelligence in Nazi Germany and my protagonist’s subordinate. I have read it before and re-reading it again since it gives a first-hand account to many counterintelligence operations that few people know about. All my historical fiction novels are based on true historical events, and I enjoy all the compliments from my readers about the authenticity of the historical background that I put into my works. So “Labyrinth” is a great source of information for my manuscript.

What is your preferred medium of writing? Pen and paper or strictly tablet and computer?

Computer. I type much faster than I write, and besides I’m too impatient to re-type a written text. I love efficiency, but I understand how some people prefer pen and paper. It’s a personal choice, I guess.

Do you have any strange writing habits (like standing on your head or writing in the shower)?

Prior to actually sitting down and writing I tend to pace the room and act out a dialogue. I used to play in a theatre back in my high school and university, so this helps me immensely, bringing those little voices in my head to physically talk to each other. A very strange habit, but it helps me a lot to create realistic dialogues.

How important are names to you in your books?

Well, the names of the real historical figures who I fictionalized are very important, because they had to be left authentic. As for the fictional characters, they bear certain meaning as well. For example Annalise, which means ‘graceful’ in German, is a ballerina, so this correlates with her profession prior to her involvement with the American counterintelligence. And her husband’s last name also wasn’t chosen randomly: Heinrich Friedmann (Friedmann can be translated both ‘free man’ and ‘the one who frees people’) is a German, who works for the American OSS office and relentlessly tries to save as many people as he can.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

Never get discouraged by any negative words. Don’t listen to anyone, except yourself (and your editor;)) If you chose this path, you have the right to write your own story and to tell it the way you want it. Never get discouraged because one person didn’t like it; with time you will acquire a team of loyal readers who will wait on pins and needles for your next work. Don’t write for the critics, write for your fans.

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

I do yoga because it helps me both relax and concentrate better, and I also read a lot.

From where do you gain your inspiration?

Biographies, books related to the period of time that I’m writing about, documentaries, some new facts about the characters that I happen to discover. It’s interesting how a writer’s mind works: something insignificant triggers it, like learning your protagonist favorite cigarette brand, and you write the whole scene where you only mention it once. It always amazes me how such small things can inspire the whole scene or even a chapter.
What would you say are the main advantages and disadvantages of self-publishing against being published or the other way around?
I love being a self-published author and honestly, I prefer it to working with big publishing houses, and here’s why. First, it gives me all the freedom to write what I want and how I want it, and I know that no one will make me change the ending because it’s ‘not marketable’ for example, or because the publisher doesn’t like it. Second, I choose the time when I can publish my book and I don’t have to wait a year before it hits the shelves. And finally third, it actually is more profitable unless you’re a really famous author like Stephen King and have a multi-million contract; the rest of the authors get only ten percent of the profit, which is much less than you can make as an indie author. So that’s one of the major factors as well.
How do you market your books?
I use Twitter, Facebook almost daily and I also use different paid marketing services as well, who do the promotion for me. Bloggers are also a big help, and I think many writers underestimate what tremendous work bloggers do. I highly appreciate each and every one I came in contact with.
Do you have any advice for other authors on how to market their books?
Don’t just post something like “Buy my book, please!” because it never works. Instead, post a new positive review you just got, quote something from your book that can pick the readers’ interest or say how happy you are about an award your book received. Enter competitions like Readers’ Favorite book awards, New Apple or any other platform that promotes indie authors. You’ll get a great exposure even if you don’t win, and it’s always a big plus.
What part of your writing time do you devote to marketing your book?

I would say marketing normally takes up about an hour of my daily routine. I use different tools on different times of the day, for example Twitter in the morning, and then I post to certain Facebook groups throughout the day. And I also try my best to interact and reply to all my readers and people who post on my page or have a question for me. I try my best not to ignore anyone.

What do you do to get book reviews?
Sometimes I ask bloggers if they would be interested in reviewing one of my books, but mostly it’s just readers, leaving their reviews.
How successful has your quest for reviews been so far?
I would say it’s been quite successful since I published my first book in “The Girl from Berlin” series seven months ago. I have 58 reviews for the first one, 31 for the second and 24 for the third, with average rating from 4.4 to 4.6. And “The Austrian”, which was released on March 7 has already gained 6 five star reviews and a five star seal from the Readers’ Favorite. So I’m very happy with it.
What are your thoughts on good/bad reviews?
I’ve been quite lucky because I only had very few negative reviews so far, but I’m being very philosophical about negative ones. I write using the ‘unreliable narrator’ technique, where the main character is not your typical, likeable character. While most readers praise how realistic these characters came out and how human they are, some don’t like them exactly for this very reason: for the mistakes they make, for how unconventionally they act and for how they fall in love with the wrong people. But that’s how it happens in life, and I would never change my writing to suit the stereotypical, purely positive protagonist type. I don’t find them interesting, to be truthful. I like the ones, who are complex and conflicted, they are much more interesting to watch grow and learn from their mistakes than the good one who don’t make any.

What’s your views on social media for marketing?
It’s a great marketing tool which can work for everyone’s budget. If you don’t want to invest anything at all, it’s a great way to promote your work for free. And if you don’t mind to pay a few dollars to boost your posts on Facebook for example, that’s even better. I like the freedom of choice social media gives to everyone.
Which social network worked best for you?
Twitter and Facebook.
Any tips on what to do and what not to do?
Never take anyone’s help on social media for granted. If someone shared or retwitted your post, always reciprocate – it’s the best way to help a fellow author or a blogger and also a great promotional tool.

Which famous person, living or dead would you like to meet and why?
If you could have been the original author of any book, what would it have been and why?
What advice would you give to aspiring writers?

How can readers discover more about you and you work?

Purchase sites:
My latest book, “The Austrian” is available in paperback and as a Kindle version on Amazon:

Also, the readers are more than welcome to read the first chapter of “The Girl from Berlin” absolutely free:






I have posted this before, but in light of Veterans’ Day I thought it would be nice to post again.


Lightning flashes as Kitt Raynes sits on her beat-up porch swing, listening to the rain pelt down on the tin awning. “You were born in the middle of a thunderstorm, you know?” She glanced down at the sleeping baby in her arms and gently readjusted the pink blanket to fit more snugly. “I still can’t believe your here with me. Charlie, I miss you so much.” Tears she held in for so long, now flowed freely.

On the seat next to her sits her husband’s best friend and a member of the Casualty Assistance Calls department. Mark and a Navy Chaplain arrived on her doorstep a little over a week ago with the news of Charlie’s death. The loss of her soul-mate had sent Kitt into labor, before she could even process the idea of being a single-mother.

Charlie Little Raynes was born as thunder clapped at 2345, one exact day from her father’s death. Named after the father she will never meet, and will attend her first funeral before she is even a month old. “Kitt, are you sure you can do this? I think everyone would understand your absence and it really isn’t the best place for Charlie Little.”

“Mark, I love you for being with me through all of this but Charlie’s unit is going to be there…and his parents who don’t even know about Charlie Little. I have to go, for them and myself. We need to support each other and I have to have this closure.” Kitt said as she wiped the river of tears away. “I just have one request, seven gunmen. My great-grandfather only had three. Every shot was another stab to my heart. Three shots are better than seven.”

“Yes ma’am, I have all seven boys ready to go.” He pulled Kitt closer to him as they watched the storm in silence for the rest of the evening.

Writing News Pop In

Just popping in to say hi, “Hi.” My new book is coming out soon and I’m ecstatic. I’ve had some really good feedback from it and can’t wait to share it with everyone.


Yesterday, I was recognized by a Facebook friend as an author for the first time.


She is reading my first book, “Touchdown Interruption,” and saw a post on my page. It was so cool. Not that I need the validation or anything, I just thought it was AWESOME!


I have three books in progress at the moment. The novella, “The Perfect Murder,” should be out soon. I’m hoping for next month or so, but not quite sure yet.

The Perfect Murder

A little taste of #TPM:

August 12, 2015
Missouri Board of Parole
1479 East Hendrickson Drive
Osceola, Missouri 64728

To Board Members,
The following comes from the office of Doctor Jade Monroe. Doctor Monroe works in accordance with Missouri State Penitentiary as a psychologist to inmates and officers. She has been working with inmates from Women’s State Penitentiary #301 in Osceola, Missouri for the past five years. During this time, she has made a few discoveries into the mind of criminals.
In the particular case of Inmate #2149857, Abigail Maxion. Doctor Monroe would like to provide the following notes from her sessions with Maxion. In light of her impending parole, Doctor Monroe would like to submit these for consideration against release.
During her sessions, Maxion has shown no remorse for the known murders and has led Doctor Monroe to be there maybe more. Doctor Monroe also believes, from the lack of remorse and unwillingness to reveal the other victims, that Abigail Maxion is not ready for release.
Doctor Monroe, wishes for her notes to be read before a decision is made.

Thank you for your time.

Dr. Jade Monroe Ph.d

Dr. Jade Monroe Ph.d

“The Price of War,” is an on going project that I am hoping to publish in December, but might have to push it back a bit. This book just doesn’t want to cooperate at the moment but it will be published!

The Price of War

The third book I’m working on has a title, but it is subject to change. I like the title but not sure about it. For right now it is called, “Crap…I’m a Vampire.” It’s still in the early stages, only four chapters so far.


Everything we do or see in life either creates a memory or reminds us of past. Scents, sights and songs can trigger happy moments with loved ones and bad times between friends. What is your happiest memory? Or your saddest? I bet there is something that would trigger that memory.


Juicyfruit gum and pipe tobacco remind me of my great-grandpa. He always had a pack of gum in the front pocket of his overalls. The pipe tobacco was for his smoking, which great-grandma didn’t like. My earliest memory of him was when I was about one, he was trimming a tree in the backyard. I was on the back porch, about six feet or so off the ground, and wanted to be down there with him. One of the railing slats I was holding onto came loose, and I fell. I fell to the bottom of the stairs where a concrete slab caught my fall. Cracked my head open enough for six or seven stitches.

The rest of the time, was happier. The smell of fresh cut grass reminds me of how he would drive his Indian lawn mower everywhere. He would take it to town instead of driving his car, unless he had to take grandma with him. He had a little trailer that he would hitch up to the mower and drive me around with him.


My worst memory of him, was the day of his funeral. He served in the army during WWII, so it was a military funeral with the bugle and 21- gun salute. For the years I couldn’t hear taps being played without breaking down. The sound of three gunmen, firing rounds was the most torturous. Each shot was another stab in the heart and another realization that he was really gone.

He was buried with the rest of our family, and one thing I always remember doing with him on memorial day was visiting his mom’s marker. She never had a headstone, just a metal placard marking her place, and grandpa would always put flowers down. As his funeral ended, I wandered off to visit her because he couldn’t. I felt that I needed to, because I knew it was important to him and the others wouldn’t.

I miss him very much, but it’s the little things in life that keep me remembering. Like right now I’m chewing juicyfruit and remembering his hugs.

Writer’s Block

Now that Camp NaNoWriMo I over and Naturally Luna is finally finished, I can start focusing on other projects. One in particular is giving me trouble. The Price of War is not coming along as well as I would like it to.

The Price of War

I had the idea for it years ago when I was crazy with my psycho ex and exploring my spiritual (or lack of) side. The story started coming to me easily and I was happy. The farther I dug into my relationship and past life, the more I was spewing ideas. Eventually everything went sideways when we started having weird experiences.

Call me crazy but I believe in past lives and that he of my past lives was lead during WWII. My ex boyfriend was my husband from that life, that inspired the book.

I have a few details mapped out and some written. I also have an idea of how I want the thing to go but since he broke my heart (again) all creative juices for that book has sputtered out. I still want to write it, as it is the closest to me, but my past life is no longer talking to me.

It sucks but when I was with the jerk I was so in tuned with the past life I had started dreaming in German, which I don’t speak well in this life, but completely understood it in my dreams. My vivid dreams took me to different key points and I saw how I died. Didn’t stick around long for that one though…I know my husband had been a high ranking officer in the SS and a few other details but everything in between is mush.

Being with my ex also tapped his past life and we often had the exact same dreams nights in a row. Now I get to whine that the muse is lost and I no longer wake up speaking fluent German! How am I supposed to finish the novel if I can’t think/remember what happened? It’s not like I can Google the whole thing as I’m missing important information…names. Anytime I get close to having the names, I’m distracted or it’s right on the tip of my tongue and won’t come.

May #WrapUp

CLTBRChallenge15 and GoodReads Book Challenge Progress- 21 of 65 and 30 of 65 books read. I really need to start reading books from my TBR pile again! But I have the next Night School preordered and an ARC of RSVP From Heaven to read as well. I am a failure at diving into my long list of TBR.

May books:

Night School: Resistance

Pines non-CLTBR

Wayward non-CLTBR

The Last Town non-CLTBR

Spearwood Academy Vol 6 non-CLTBR

Spearwood Academy Vol 7 non-CLTBR

My Camp NanoWrimo book, #LoveandDrugs has been sent off to a Beta Reader (no word back yet). If there is anyone interested in Beta Reading it, I would happily send you a copy for honest feedback!


I continued #Musical Monday Reviews and will continue them into May. Sanctuary Edits is still open for new clients. Sadly I think my guest post author has backed out, but if anyone else would like to step up send me a message and we can talk. Any topic you would like, I don’t mind. Also still taking author interviews!

As you saw there have been some posts from my creative writing class and I’ll continue to post them. I have also posted my poems and there may be more in the future…I’m not sure as I don’t write them that often.

April #WrapUp

CLTBRChallenge15 and GoodReads Book Challenge Progress- 20 of 65 and 24 of 65 books read.

April Books:

Spearwood Academy Vol 3

Spearwood Academy Vol 4

Spearwood Academy Vol 5

Murderous Little Darlings: Non-TBR

Night School: Genesis

Night School: Legacy

Night School: Fracture

In other news, my Camp NaNoWriMo was somewhat of a failure and kind of not. I wrote 23,892 words out of a goal of 30,000. So I failed to make my goal but came very close to finishing. Can’t wait to see what I can do in July!

I continued #Musical Monday Reviews and will continue them into May. Sanctuary Edits is working with a second author already and still open for new clients. I also announced Guest Posts this month, but have not heard back from the one who contacted me yet. I am opening that spot up to anyone who would be interested, any topic you would like. Classes are going ok but I have just been out of it the last two weeks. I was really sick one day and haven’t caught up yet. Iit’s been a lazy, feel like “blah” last two weeks. I hope it gets better.

Let’s have a good May!

Sanctuary Edits

Have a book that needs editing? Want to make sure all the kinks are worked out before publication? Here at Sanctuary Edits, we will read through your book looking for any and all typos. We will double check to make sure everything sounds smooth and inform you of any issues spotted.

In addition to our editing services, we will also have an honest review ready for you upon publication. The review will be posted to Books and More, Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, Google+, Tumblr and Amazon (or Smashwords depending on where you publish). We will also include an Author Spotlight Interview on the Books and More blog. We can also put together a release post highlighting your book the day it is released.

At Sanctuary Edits, we do Substantive Editing and Copy Editing. Substantive Editing is problem solving and overall clarity or accuracy.
Copy Editing, is where we look at spelling, grammar, punctuation and word usage. Prices are $50-100 per manuscript. Price varies depending on size. Short story would be less than an epic novel.